In an airplane I normally knock off, within 30 seconds of buckling the seat belt. In the last few years if a new life saving device has been introduced I have no knowledge of it. For some odd reason, the flight to and fro bangalore I just could not sleep, and since i cannot read, I looked around.
My friend was an airhostess in Cathay for many years. i have heard craziest stories, but the best one was about the man who entered the plane with a crash helmet. (this was before the times of "get nude" security and where turbans were not asked to be removed). The man kept the helmet on during take off. My friend and her colleagues thought that he would take it off post, but no matter how much they explained, cajoled he point blank refused. He lifted his visor and pushed his meal through it.
The man sitting next to me was of average built. (this -while going to bangalore). I wanted to sleep, but the smell of vada sambhar woke me up. My co passenger started eating, slowly and steadily he made his way into the food. First he chewed and finished the fruit plate. Then the bread butter and jam. Then the chicken cutlet, some gravy dish and poha (which was stale, as if made in the last centuary) and 2 cups of tea and every grain of the after mint. The packet of salt and pepper was also used. By now i was on the edge of my seat. His plate was clean, every container shining. I swear i had not seen him lick it. He had annihilated every single particle.When he started nibbling at the fork, the alarmed air hostess swiped the plate away. I sat back in my seat heaving a sigh of relief.
One gentle man had arrived, with only a huge bundle of papers neatly tied by string. The minute the flight took off, he got it down from the cabin baggage and threw them on the floor next to his feet. He took out 3 neatly folded garbage disposal bags from his pocket and opened them up. He then proceeded to tear up all the 200 odd A4 size pages into tiny bits. When one tears up paper to such small bits, one cannot take more than 2 or 3 at a time. He then patiently distributed each torn paper into the 3 bags. No paper shredder could have done such a detailed job. The one in his office had broken down from a massive inferiority complex. Just before landing he finished his task and stuffed them back in the cabin stow. He left with all his bags. I will go to my grave wondering what the papers were about.
While returning from Bangalore, I had my eye shields on, in the hopes of doing my normal stuff- sleeping. No luck, but the eye shields stayed on. At some point I smelt something super putrid. A fart is a fart and this was not a fart. I slid off my eye shield and saw a man standing next to me. He had his arms resting on my head rest and therefore his armpits were exposed to the air. By God! I swear he had taken a dip in a urine pot. The eye shield slid to my nose, but even that was not enough. I tried to kill my self by suffocating with the pillow, even that did not work. He had never every washed his armpits with even water, forget soap! If taken into police custody and questioned about the last two bodies found dead due to unknown circumstances, the case would have been cracked. It would be found that he had taken them by the scruff of their necks and shoved their faces into his armpits. Dead in 2 seconds due to intense toxic fumes!!!!
The flight was delayed due to airtraffic and he got restless. With every restless move, more smell wafted into the air. Everytime the airhostess would passby, I would smell eu de cologne. i think they were surreptiously spilling from a bottle as they walked past him. I came home and had a shower with the most fragrant body wash I could find.
There was an ambulance waiting outside with 2 stretchers. I saw his co passengers (he was sitting in the middle) being taken away in blazing siren, with gas masks attached to their faces.
My friend was an airhostess in Cathay for many years. i have heard craziest stories, but the best one was about the man who entered the plane with a crash helmet. (this was before the times of "get nude" security and where turbans were not asked to be removed). The man kept the helmet on during take off. My friend and her colleagues thought that he would take it off post, but no matter how much they explained, cajoled he point blank refused. He lifted his visor and pushed his meal through it.
The man sitting next to me was of average built. (this -while going to bangalore). I wanted to sleep, but the smell of vada sambhar woke me up. My co passenger started eating, slowly and steadily he made his way into the food. First he chewed and finished the fruit plate. Then the bread butter and jam. Then the chicken cutlet, some gravy dish and poha (which was stale, as if made in the last centuary) and 2 cups of tea and every grain of the after mint. The packet of salt and pepper was also used. By now i was on the edge of my seat. His plate was clean, every container shining. I swear i had not seen him lick it. He had annihilated every single particle.When he started nibbling at the fork, the alarmed air hostess swiped the plate away. I sat back in my seat heaving a sigh of relief.
One gentle man had arrived, with only a huge bundle of papers neatly tied by string. The minute the flight took off, he got it down from the cabin baggage and threw them on the floor next to his feet. He took out 3 neatly folded garbage disposal bags from his pocket and opened them up. He then proceeded to tear up all the 200 odd A4 size pages into tiny bits. When one tears up paper to such small bits, one cannot take more than 2 or 3 at a time. He then patiently distributed each torn paper into the 3 bags. No paper shredder could have done such a detailed job. The one in his office had broken down from a massive inferiority complex. Just before landing he finished his task and stuffed them back in the cabin stow. He left with all his bags. I will go to my grave wondering what the papers were about.
While returning from Bangalore, I had my eye shields on, in the hopes of doing my normal stuff- sleeping. No luck, but the eye shields stayed on. At some point I smelt something super putrid. A fart is a fart and this was not a fart. I slid off my eye shield and saw a man standing next to me. He had his arms resting on my head rest and therefore his armpits were exposed to the air. By God! I swear he had taken a dip in a urine pot. The eye shield slid to my nose, but even that was not enough. I tried to kill my self by suffocating with the pillow, even that did not work. He had never every washed his armpits with even water, forget soap! If taken into police custody and questioned about the last two bodies found dead due to unknown circumstances, the case would have been cracked. It would be found that he had taken them by the scruff of their necks and shoved their faces into his armpits. Dead in 2 seconds due to intense toxic fumes!!!!
The flight was delayed due to airtraffic and he got restless. With every restless move, more smell wafted into the air. Everytime the airhostess would passby, I would smell eu de cologne. i think they were surreptiously spilling from a bottle as they walked past him. I came home and had a shower with the most fragrant body wash I could find.
There was an ambulance waiting outside with 2 stretchers. I saw his co passengers (he was sitting in the middle) being taken away in blazing siren, with gas masks attached to their faces.
